Struggling With Consistency? This Mental Block Might Be Why
The biggest disconnect I hear from busy moms and moms-to-be when it comes to their self care is how to stay motivated and consistent with healthier habits.
It’s the whole “I know I SHOULD be doing _____ and I WANT to, but I don’t know why I can’t seem to stick with it long term.”
Nike’s famous tagline “Just do it” sounds simple enough, but it doesn’t always feel so simple in real life. It can be frustrating when you start off strong and then lose all momentum, but you don’t understand why that pattern always happens.
A client of mine once wrestled with this same struggle. She wanted to be consistent with exercise again and loved to tap dance, take her dog on walks, ride her bike, and all sorts of things. She was always athletic growing up and knew how good moving her body makes her feel. So she couldn’t figure out why she was self-sabotaging and avoiding her workouts every week.
Then in one of our coaching sessions, she uncovered the secret that might be partly to blame for holding her back — she was actually afraid of succeeding.
Of course she wanted to lose a few pounds and have fun channeling her inner Shirley Temple by getting back into tap dancing, but she realized she had some fear around “what if I actually hit my goals and get what I want? What else in my life will be different because of that?”
She feared what would happen when she hit her goal weight and what people would say about her (whether to her face or behind her back). The thought of that felt uncomfortable, scary even. Oddly enough, she feared the very thing she wanted to achieve, so on a subconscious level she was resisting the changes that would help her get there — like her workouts — even though she thought she had the best intentions of following through.
Ask yourself:
What are all the good things that might happen when I achieve my goal? What are some possible negatives?
Now if you’re thinking, “there’s absolutely nothing negative about me losing 10 pounds and fitting into my skinny jeans again, Jillian!” then hear me out. Sometimes we might not be fully aware of the “downsides” that could come as a result of success, but your subconscious mind sure is. They might even seem irrational.
Fears like…
Will my friends/coworkers/family treat me differently?
Will I feel uncomfortable if people comment how good I look now that I’ve lost weight? Does that mean I looked bad before??
What if I’m still not happy with how I look even when I lose the weight?
Will my loved ones and other responsibilities suffer if I’m now spending more time on myself instead?
What if succeeding with this makes me fail at something else?
When you allow yourself to be open and honest, you might discover there’s a little bit of fear of success — and that’s normal! Fear of success can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.
Identifying those fears is the first big step in avoiding self-sabotage and building healthier habits. Coaching is a powerful tool to help you identify what’s holding you back and then shift your perspective to help you move forward.
Try this if you’re struggling with consistency and motivation when it comes to building healthier habits:
1) Write down all the GOOD things that might happen when you achieve your goal(s).
2) Write down all the potentially NEGATIVE things that could happen when you achieve your goal(s).
Journal on the above questions (listed under “fears like…”). See if you can identify ONE subconscious fear that could potentially be sabotaging you and how you can overcome it.
3) Consider working with a Coach or find yourself an accountability buddy to help you stay on track and support you.
I offer 1:1 coaching to help women preparing for motherhood get into a healthier routine with food, movement, and stress so they can optimize their fertility and feel strong, healthy, and prepared for pregnancy and motherhood.
Learn more and book a free call with me to see if it’s a good fit for you.